Lost Love Lyrics


*Please see previous post if you are interested in the story behind why I wrote this song. *

Lost Love”   86 bpm  © MSK 6-2004

We’d been together just a little while

Each day melted into the other.

Daylight through the evenings we danced,

Completely consumed by one another.

As life went on our love got stronger.

My friends thought that it would never last.

I know all things come to an end.

Just didn’t think it would be so fast.

It’s been a long number of years now gone

How many more I don’t really know.

Everyday I try to say good bye,

but For some reason I just can’t let you go.

And he said, ‘son, if ignorance is bliss,

You must be a very happy man’.

Memories of your Lost Love might never go away,

But everyone else you love can.

Father and son, we were…

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Kenneth Harper Finton


by Kenneth Harper Finton


A manifesto written by Dylann Roof shortly before he murdered nine black people in Charleston, South Carolina is an important clue into the workings of his mind and the ideas that underlie a universal form of racism and ignorance that is destroying the our very world.

Roof states:

‘“I was not raised in a racist home or environment. Living in the South, almost every White person has a small amount of racial awareness, simply beause of the numbers of negroes in this part of the country. But it is a superficial awareness. Growing up, in school, the White and black kids would make racial jokes toward each other, but all they were were jokes. Me and White friends would sometimes would watch things that would make us think that “blacks were the real racists” and other elementary thoughts like this…

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Each day weather permitting I go to the beach. I clean the sand out of the wheels and pivots of my wheel chair. I lube the hubs on the front wheels. Pack my day bag along with my binoculars and wheel myself down Ocean Drive. My destination: the giant palm tree on the south east corner of the  Hotel Property. It’s the perfect spot. It’s about fifty yards from the water at low tide. The brick pavers aren’t too difficult for a wheel chair, so I manage.  I really love this spot, the sidewalk and common areas are a rustic Mediterranean color and the palm gives me shade for most of the day. My only competition for this tiny piece of real estate is Jimmy the Bum. Jimmy, who is drunk most of the time, occasionally beats me here. He panhandles, sleeps, and picks up old cigarette butts to try and smoke what’s left of them. Today I’m first so Jimmy will have to take the other side of the sidewalk. I got my spot!

From about ten o’clock to two o’clock the walkway is busy, tourists mostly going back and forth from the restaurants and hotels. Families carrying their beach bags, boyfriends, lovers, husbands talking to their wives, girlfriends, lovers- who knows. I enjoy the activity and I eavesdrop a little.

The afternoon is typical Jimmy is sleeping off his early morning drinking and I’m watching all the beach goers. There is a couple that has my attention. A man and women together, she is coated in suntan oil, I can see it glistening off her bronze skin from here. He’s just sitting and watching everything. He seems to be a very observant man. His girlfriend—I don’t think they are married— sometimes checks his glances, she is suspicious, but she remains quiet. I just think he’s observant.

About twenty yards north of their position another couple is enjoying the sun. I’m sure they’re married. They display a lack of interest in each other that many married couples show in public. It’s hard to really know what that means … it could be trust, it could be who cares. They talk and I guess they both decide he would go to the food stand and get some refreshments. He walks by me and heads for the stand. On the way back he says hi to me and asks if I’m a vet. I say “yes” and he commends me for my service. What a nice guy!

I watch both couples, the married couple, and the observant man who is coupled with the jealous women. The married man goes into the water, while the observant man just sits under his umbrella with his shades on. There’s a lot of people in the water today, the tide is low, water temperature is seventy-three degrees. The low tide is great for children to play in, there is no shelf or drop off. So many kids are on boogie boards, floats. Families playing together. It’s a beautiful day.

I look for the married man, but I don’t see him. I glance towards his chair, look at his wife, she is sleeping, but I cannot see the man. So I gaze over the crowd. Maybe he got out of the water and went for a walk on the beach. I look up and down the beach, then I see him pop his head up in the water. He must be quit a swimmer, to stay under water that long. So I look back at the observant man, he is watching something, his head perks up, something has his attention. I look back towards the married man, he has gone under water.

The observant man gets up and starts yelling shark, shark, as he runs towards the beach where all the children are playing. I see the fin, it’s definitely a shark. The life guards come to life leaping from their sedentary posts.  The jealous women watches her boyfriend as he runs towards the water. The married women wakes up and begins looking for her husband.  Everyone else stands up with their cell phones and they all begin recording the excitement. Children are running for their moms and dads. Moms and dads are running for their children, and the wife stands at the edge of the water looking for her husband.  The observant man is still yelling shark, he is in the water. The married man’s head pops up and the shark is right behind him.

There is thrashing and the water turns red. The observant man stops. He stares at the spot where he last saw the married man, and he does not leave the water. I look around many people are still  recording the event with their phones, but some have stopped. The ones that stopped go to their chairs and begin texting or whatever it is that they do. I glance at Jimmy he is sleeping through all the excitement.

A head neck and torso wash up on the beach. The man who had a kind exchange with me, just moments ago, is gone. His wife is holding her hands up towards the water and she looks over at the man who tried to warn everyone. She must be in shock.

Most people stop recording the event with their cell phones. Paramedics come rushing by me with stretchers and they all step on Jimmy’s feet that are sticking out in the walkway. People are coming off the street to see what happened, the walkway is getting crowded.

The jealous women goes to her boyfriend. Suddenly he is a viral man and she is aroused, she shows this by kissing him passionately. They hug for a moment.  He walks out of the water, shaking his head. I can tell he wanted to save the man.  The life guards and paramedics talk to him, a few pat him on the back. His girlfriend enjoys the attention he is getting, he is shy about it.

The medical examiner arrives while other city services clean up and gather information. The tourists who recorded some of the event are gone, others who witnessed and recorded all of it are talking with police, and a few others- to local news crews. I guess it will be all over the local TV news tonight.

The observant man and his girlfriend leave.

I sat and thought about what I had just witnessed. The observant man saved a lot of children, the shark went right through the area where they were playing. I toss an old coconut at Jimmy to wake him up. Startled he hits his head on the brick wall and spills all the change the passers-by tossed into his cap. I guess it’s time to go home.

I’m lucky. My apartment is on the first floor, it’s small, but I like it. I have a computer desk that my chair fits up to nicely. I like to browse the internet sometimes. So I make a sandwich and roll myself into place. When my browser comes up it always shows me the latest news on CNN, FOX, and the local stations. I also watch You-Tube videos. I always watch the most popular videos of the day.

CNN, FOX have more war stuff— ISIS stories. The local channel has the weather, always the weather, the only good news they can report is the weather, because the weather is always good.

You-Tube has taken life though, there is a bunch of videos streaming in- fresh new content- that everyone loves to see. All the top videos today have a similar title. SHARK ATTACK — SHARKS SWARM MAN— SHARK EATS MAN ALIVE— and the most popular of the day MAN WATCHES SHARK EAT ANOTHER MAN.

The views of all the videos are soaring, the most popular was at 200,000 one minute then 2,000,000 the next. And the world that now —sees itself as a witness— to this horrific event, is weighing in with comments.  The streams of opinions never seem to end, but they all say about the same thing.

Cavegirl21:    “It was horrible, he just stood there. What a coward.”

Avenger17:    “If I was close enough I would’ve saved him.”

I’m a slut 18:   “Did you see the look on the woman’s face as she looked at that coward.”

Lonlygirl12:   “I’m horrified. The coward looked like my father who left us.”

Braveheart29: “I will find that coward! I’ll teach him about bravery.”

Enlightenus4: “Our society is failing. We must all seek the truth to understanding.”

Anger69:         “I’ll beat his worthless ass.”

Sugarlipps:      “How can someone just stand there while their best friend gets eaten alive?”

Monstor99:     “My rage shall be felt throughout the land.”

Monstor99: also quoted Edmund Burke, “that evil succeed when good men do nothing.”

The bravado: pouring out of their empty souls, as they espouse their opinions of life and mankind.  How pathetic to sit in solitary self-imposed confinement and criticize the world. Every video I watched was of the shark attack— that I witnessed. All the brave commentators were nowhere near the scene of the attack.  The up-loads showed all the videos were posted by companies called XCITE, CONTENT MEDIA, YOUJUSTSAWIT, and others. They all pay for videos. The people who made the short videos had their story and they got some quick cash.  This all got under my skin, I was angry. So I thought about it and responded.

My online name is GWVET54 and this is what I wrote back.

I saw this shark attack, and the man you all are condemning tried to save the man who got attacked. He did save several children who were in the water. They were not friends, he was brave, and his actions should be commended.

Responses were as follows:

Sugarlipps: Where is your video if you were there. You’re probably the coward. What an asshole.”

Avenger17, Braveheart29, and Anger69 all replied with the same answer: YOU’RE A LIAR! In capital letters of course, they wanted me to feel their anger. I didn’t.

I couldn’t stand it, I turned off the computer and turned on the local evening news. First story— Shark attack— they did not pin point the location for fear of scaring away the tourists. But they did show video that showed the man running into the water and warning everyone- although the news commentator said, “He sure caused a panic … but children were saved, so I guess it was worth it.” They mentioned there was a victim, but did not disclose any more information about him.

About a week later, on You-Tube there was another video of the attack. Someone named Clarity33 posted it on their channel. So I guess Clarity33 was on the beach that day. It had a few hits, and one comment about the man warning the children. But most people had already moved on, satisfied that they knew the real story.

LEARN MORE ABOUT Artemis J Jones  AT HIS WEBSITE:  http://artemisjjones.blogspot.com

Dialogue of the Nihilist and the Chaotician

by KD Rose


From Heavy Bags of Soul by KD Rose

Nihilist: I’ve lost faith in the Work.

Chaote: Good. What use is faith in the Work? The condition is complete continuity within complete discontinuity.

Nihilst: Yes, I know. And what good is that?

Chaote: Arbitrary perceptual intention combining with the determinism arising from absolute cause effect, creating the immensely entertaining experience of “will.”

Nihilist: That is not will. It is just arbitrary perceptions arising from environmental stimuli or cues that strike ones personal patterns, flaws, thoughts, ideas, etc that seem like patterns because they have a common perceiver.

Chaote: The things that were said to create the experience of will were not identified as will itself, you will notice.   Rather, will itself seems to be best described as a bottomless self-iterating feedback loop of consciousness− the self of selflessness.

Nihilist: No, then you are saying the mere act of perceiving it is will.

Chaote: Yes.

Nihilist: That’s not true, perception is not will.

Chaote: So what is it?

Nihilist: Perception is perception, and it is false at that.

Chaote: But will is true?

Nihilist: Supposedly. I know nothing anymore.

Chaote: Seems safer that way, eh?

Nihilist: I don’t believe in anything anymore. There is nothing that one can put stake in as true. It’s not safer, it’s devastating. There is no reason to exist.

Chaote: What are you doing?

Nihilist: What do you mean?

Chaote: Now. Right now.

Nihilist: Wasting a body.

Chaote: Then what are you?

Nihilist: Nothing.

Chaote: Then how can you be wasting a body?

Nihilist: I don’t know what you mean. It doesn’t matter whether the body is illusion or not. There is some form of consciousness here. It is wasted.

Chaote: You are using your nihilism as a buffer from the actual shock of arbitrary randomness, from chaos. There is no standard for waste, or purpose. So you’re just making one up and denying it to save your sorry identity from something even more mind blowing.

Nihilist: Chaos is meaningless.

Chaote: Of course!

Nihilist: What is the standard I am supposedly making up and then denying?

Chaote: I don’t know but it must be something, otherwise the ideas of nothing and waste would seem as arbitrary and pointless to you as they do to me.

Nihilist: The standard is to have a purpose. That has been my standard. Different systems put their own words on it. My sorry identity has already perceived mind-blowing things. What else is there?

Chaote: You seem disappointed.

Nihilist: There is no reason to exist. That is rather disappointing, yes.

Chaote: You need one?

Nihilist: My current perception is that my current consciousness needs a purpose, yes.

Chaote: No wonder you’re disappointed.

Nihilist: There is connection to larger somethings, but I no longer believe in the purpose of any larger somethings either. Just more bullshit. The masturbation of the universe. Why, how do you see everything?

Chaote: As a continually self-iterating fractal, apparent order evolving out of apparent disorder, the extrapolation of arbitrary initial conditions spiraling through infinite reflections of its own shifting image.

Nihilist: Only sounds like hell to me. It feels otherwise to you?

Chaote: In order to have hell, you have to have something to compare it to.

Nihilist: Only imagination of otherwise, and imagination of a purpose to it all.

Chaote: There can be infinite purposes!

Nihilist: Infinite purposes is the same as arbitrary meaningless.

Chaote: Right on!

Nihilist: Man is ultimately only happy striving for something. And once having tossed away the material, emotional, power plays, and all the other layers of stuff to strive for, there is nothing else. Levels of attainment…enlightenment….all a sham. No ultimate thing to strive for. No purpose.

Chaote: And instead of being amused, you’re bored!

Nihilist: What do you want from your life?

Chaote: Nothing.

Nihilist: You don’t care? Do you enjoy it?

Chaote: Yes.

Nihilist: Are you saying you are Tao? Is that why?

Chaote: I am saying there is a probability that I could be anything at all.

Nihilist: But there are higher probabilities for this lifetime based on your particular situations and gifts, correct?

Chaote: Probably. Isn’t indeterminacy fun! Consciousness manifests indeterminacy. Cause effect is obviously absolute.

Nihilist: Um…. how do you say cause-effect is absolute?

Chaote: Everything is caused by something.

Nihilist: Really. And there is nothing self-created? The initial whatever must be self created, no?

Chaote: Doesn’t matter. That is just a masturbatory question.

Nihilist: Laughs

Chaote: If the initial conditions arise spontaneously, you could just as well say nothing created them.

Nihilist: I don’t wish to create an arbitrary purpose. I could, but it would be a lie. I could treat the world as a playground, but that would be just another form of lie. The only thing I can think of is that I like learning and exploring the unknown. But that would just be another game too− one that apparently has nothing at the end of it. Should I just get lost in humanness? Numb the consciousness with the veils of human life? Pretend I am not aware?

Chaote: You could start by reminding yourself that you really don’t have control of what’s happening to you.

Nihilist: What good would that do?

Chaote: Anything could potentially happen, so instead of arbitrarily identifying your awareness with this so called (non) truth of yours, just wait and see what does happen.

Nihilist: Should I look for burning bushes in the sky?

Chaote: You are hung up on this no meaning, no purpose awareness boredom repetition. It will pass.

Nihilist: Waiting for arbitrary happenings? What will it pass into next? The mouse will round the next corner of the endless maze and describe what it sees?

Chaote: Quite possibly.

Nihilist: One day, a mouse will figure out how to destroy all perception of the maze and mice. And what insights do you cast from your corner of the run? What phase, if any, are you in?

Chaote: Apparently the one where nothing actually matters and it is enjoyable.

Nihilist: Some would call that a final phase.

Chaote: I don’t know about anything being final. Out of infinite possibilities, initial conditions are chosen entirely at random. Any attempt at ultimate control is superfluous.

Nihilist: And you still say you seek nothing and just plan to enjoy arbitrary whatever?

Chaote: Yes.

Nihilist: Have you ever had communications with what people would label a higher being, or your higher self, or the universe, etc, type thing?

Chaote: Probably. Grins

Nihilist: Well how do you fit those into your paradigm of arbitrariness?

Chaote: They must have been caused by something which must be integrated into the pattern somehow, and the structure of the pattern is originated by arbitrariness.

Nihilist: So you are talking antecedents of determinism again. That would only be a theory, would it not? That the structure of the pattern is originated by arbitrariness?

Chaote: Yes, just a theory. But a meta-theory at that. The theory of theories.

Nihilist: Yes, yes, the map is not the territory, etc. But the very theory of arbitrariness would say, would it not, that the probability at some point would be that the origin would not be arbitrary.

Chaote: Yes, it would. In fact, the initial condition can never actually be observed so they might as well not exist. Pure chaos creates determinism from indeterminacy.

Nihilist: Well, that would be one name to give it. Others would be God, Self, Universe, Will, etc.

Chaote: Certainly.

Nihilist: Then the construct is just using the name chaos as another pose of the big dad in the sky, only one with no purpose.

Chaote: Except it would have no attributes in this case.

Nihilist: Oh, I don’t know. It ‘makes the origin of everything,’ ‘creates determinism from indeterminacy,’ ‘makes the structure of the pattern’…sounds like the big impartial dad of the universe to me.

Chaote: But there’s nothing actually there; it’s just a byword for a process.

Nihilist: And what is the fuel for this process?

Chaote: Information does not require fuel.

Nihilist: Information?

Chaote: Patterns.

Nihilist: Patterns and process imply movement, do they not? Or change. Otherwise there would be no patterns or determinism from indeterminacy. Movement or change implies fuel.

Chaote: That sounds Newtonian. Of course there is change, but not necessarily conversion of energy from one state to another.

Nihilist: No, not conversion of energy. But the energy needed for the movement at all…or call it inertia− the energy needed for inertia.

Chaote: And what are energy and inertia?

Nihilist: Concepts…. devised to explain other concepts.

Chaote: Right, so the point is, in the realm of concepts, it is no use to appeal to other concepts to explain how concepts themselves work. Pure information cannot depend upon energy, which is just a term of information itself. Concepts + information.

Nihilist: Perhaps, but inertia would not be the same term as energy and pattern and information could be. Inertia would describe their existence. Insomuch as all words are concepts, nevertheless, inertia describes a property.

Chaote: The tendency not to change?

Nihilist: The tendency to remain in the state that one is in….this includes movement….to go on moving in the same way.

Chaote: Isn’t that just another way of referring to the deterministic character of self-propagating systems?

Nihilist: I see no determinism in inertia. Only continual movement.

Chaote: But there has to be a cause, does there not?

Nihilist: You said yourself that origins are unknown, therefore what do they matter. I don’t agree, but that was your statement.

Chaote: The point is that motion is determined. It is not the motion I am claiming to be arbitrary, but rather the origin of the motion.

Nihilist: If the origin of the motion is arbitrary, then the motion is also arbitrary!

Chaote:   Good one.

Nihilist: The things to wait for in life, as you said− all arbitrary.

Chaote: Ultimately the motion would be arbitrary, but from inside it looks like a determined system.

Nihilist: From inside?

Chaote: When perceiving pattern as a part of it.

Nihilist: ‘Pattern’ meaning what?

Chaote: Information manifesting consciously.

Nihilist: Yes, but one knows now that it is not a determined system, regardless of perception.

Chaote: Probably. Grins

Nihilist: Back to square zero. Or should I say Ouroboros.

Chaote: Best of luck in your passionate attempt at negation.

Nihilist: Passionate attempts to negate are only monumental efforts to find that which cannot be negated. Best of luck with the butterflies.

Chaote: Oh, we’ve moved on to Minkowski seagulls.

KD ROSEK.D. Rose is a poet and author who currently has published “Heavy Bags of Soul”, “Inside Sorrow”, “I AM”, “Erasing: Shadows”, “Anger’s Children”, and “The Brevity of Twit.”

K.D. has an eclectic mind and loves language, physics, philosophy, photography, design, art, writing, symbolism, semiotics, spirituality, and Dr. Who. KD Rose is an avid supporter of music, the arts, cutting edge science, technology, and creativity in all forms that encourage us to expand and explore past the artificial limits we often set for ourselves in order to see the everyday connections that exist among all things.

K.D. is also a spoonie and prefers to think of herself as “a spoonie on the lam.”

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Kenneth Harper Finton


“Aristotle believed the universe was always here and did not come into existence. Nature always existed, nor will it go out of being. Nature, or the entire system of existence, exists independently of us and is a given. Human beings have a hard time assimilating that things exist apart from themselves and insist that a superhuman or a deity be given credit for everything that ever was. Some people believe that the universe must be without a beginning in time, owing no credit and acting with spontaneity, as can be seen when volcanoes erupt or floods wipe out entire towns.” – Moya K. Mason, Is There Any Chance Involved in the Evolutionary Process? A Look at Aristotle’s Physics II.

For Aristotle, the universe is eternal. He also believed that the universe emerged from a  natural creative intelligence, a natural thought or desire because nothing happens even by chance without an…

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COSOMSI Ate the Cosmos for Breakfast

by Melissa Studdard

It looked like a pancake,

but it was creation flattened out—

the fist of God on a head of wheat,

milk, the unborn child of an unsuspecting

chicken — all beaten to batter and drizzled into a pan.

I brewed my tea and closed my eyes

while I ate the sun, the air, the rain,

photosynthesis on a plate.

I ate the time it took that chicken

to bear and lay her egg

and the energy it takes a cow to lactate a cup of milk.

I thought of the farmers, the truck drivers,

the grocers, the people who made the bag that stored the wheat,

and my labor over the stove seemed short,

and the pancake tasted good,

and I was thankful.

This poem first appeared in Dash Literary Journal 3 (Spring 2010).
Used here with the author’s permission.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0988944766 —

And here are the ISBN Numbers: ISBN-10: 0988944766

ISBN-13: 978-0988944763

UnknownI Dream; Therefore You Are 

by Melissa Studdard

Moon & Pillow

say this is yesterday, and I’ve

pasted you back together

with salt. I mixed you with straw

& carried you into the desert to dry. My adobe


my red earth, my paper doll,

I forgot that the rock I propped

you up against

was made of tombstone,

so I searched beneath your eyelids

for an explanation of color. I built

highways & colonies across

the meadows of sleep.

I followed you into the temple of absence

to learn how to die.

Don’t you know

how hard it is to keep you

buried? Please.

Have some compassion.

It’s like a swamp in this desert.

The caskets are at sea level

and always rising. See—

there you go, floating by, mouth full of

music and death.

I guess this means they finally told you:

You are the corpse in this off-key song.

And my words are a pilgrimage

bearing gifts. I brought you flowers.

Is it too late? Are you hungry?

I’m planting a casserole

in the grass.


We Are the Universe

by Melissa Studdard

Watching your mouth as you eat I think

perhaps an apple is the universe and your body

is an orchard full of trees. I’ve seen the way your leaves

cling to the ground in fall, and I noted then

that your voice sounded soft, like feathered, drifting things

coming finally to rest. Note:

I was the core in your pink flesh. You

were hungry birds

and foxes walking through the miles of me.

You climbed, dug your nails in my bark, yanked

something loose. Don’t tell me what it is.

Just keep it close.

Because I planted these rows

and rows of myself for you–

so I could lick the juice from your lips,

so I could remember

how round and hot

the promise of seed. If I could find

that orchard right now, I’d run all through the rows

of you. I’d stand in the center and twirl

until I got dizzy and fell. I’d climb high and shake

until the only thing left in you was longing,

and you’d write a poem for me. You’d say:

Your mouth is the universe. Your desire

is an orchard full of trees.

Photo by Jennifer Ayers of Ayers Design

Photo by Jennifer Ayers of Ayers Design

Melissa Studdard is the author of My Yehidah, The Tiferet Talk Interviews, and the best-selling novel Six Weeks to Yehidah. Her books have received numerous awards, including the Forward National Literature Award, the International Book Award, January Magazine‘s best children’s books of the year, The Reader’s Favorite Award, and the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. Her poetry collection, I Ate the Cosmos for Breakfast, is available from Saint Julian Press. Her short writings have appeared in dozens of journals and anthologies, and she currently serves as professor for Lone Star College System, a teaching artist for The Rooster Moans Poetry Cooperative, an editorial adviser for The Criterion, and host of Tiferet Talk radio. Visit her website. Melissa lives in Texas with her extended family and four sweet, but mischievous, cats.

Learn more about Melissa at www.melissastuddard.com.